Condemning Others For Their Decisions


Why do I have to stop smoking, drinking and womanizing? A friend of mine asked me years back.

He continued in his saying, after all, I’ve tried to stop it and you’re not even the first person that will tell me to stop, I found pleasure in doing it and I don’t even see any reasons to stop it. If I smoke, I’m already in heaven, if I’m drunk, I feel on top of the world and if I womanize, I feel like I’m the baddest guy in the world.

Hmm, I said it looks so good and alright because of all these attributes you have listed and are directly attached to your reasons why you smoke, get drunk and womanize. I don’t have much to say because I’ve been telling you time without number, also you confirmed it that I’m not the first person to tell you to stop, this alone is a pleasure to me.

However, all these attributes are good but for the purpose of where you’re going and where you’re coming from please stop. He said no way. So I gently left him alone and prayed in my heart that he should find just one reason to leave his current lifestyle for a better one because if he continues like that, my dear there is fire on the mountain.

It’s just like it is an opinion and I’m entitled to my opinion, some called it freedom of speech because you can only tell me something, so mine is to accept it or I leave it.

You can tell someone to do this or do that but you can’t force things on them, just give them a piece of advice and go your own way, don’t try to impose things on them. It is very easy to take a horse to the river side but very difficult to force that horse to drink water, if the horse drinks the water, that’s only for his own good and benefit  and if otherwise.

Over the time, I don’t have option than to reason with my friend and agreed with him for his reasons for smoking etc. but to be frank with you, I was not happy but I just have to adjust myself so that I can fit-in and also cope with him because there is a saying that, if you want to catch a monkey you have to behave like a monkey.

After a while, I began to question myself why I had to tell him to stop smoking and others, because he told me quite alright that smoking gives him joy and happiness and I asked myself that, what is life, if there’s no joy and happiness in one’s life? What is life, if what to keep you company has been taken away from you? What is life, if you cannot decide your happiness?

All these questions always ring to my ears even up to this present moment. Later on, this friend of mine called me and said he’s no longer what I used to call him anymore, I said what do you mean by that? He now told me that he doesn’t  smoke nor get drunk nor womanize again. I said hmm, but smoking gives you joy and happiness, drunkenness makes you feel you’re in heaven and womanizing makes you the baddest guy. He said nothing like that anymore, I’ve come back to my senses and found all those attributes elsewhere which are within me. I can’t deny the fact that I’m like that before but now I don’t do it anymore.

It looks like magic to me for leaving his former lifestyle and that means happiness and joy are within me, if and only if I can bring it out and make myself happy also that no one can do such for me. He said yes, it’s within me, everything I ever wanted. That’s one of the motivational quotes I’ve ever heard in my life because it’s coming from someone I used to advise and talk to, and now he’s the one motivating me. Wow!

Dear friend, you are entitled to your opinion, don’t ever allow anyone to make you feel as if you’re not living your life in the best way, after all you owe nobody anything. Do what makes you happy the most, be active in what you’re doing and be consistent. People sometimes may be so funny and believe me, if you follow their advice there’s fire on the mountain. What you have to do is to sit yourself down and ask yourself a series of questions, take a pen and a book, write something out e.g if I follow this way, what will I gain from it? If I do this business, how far will I go with it? Stuff like that.

No on have to push you to do something but sometimes, you only need to welcome some advice, look at my friend here, for the past five years, I’ve been talking to him about his life style and suddenly he was the one that sit himself down and think about his life, and today, he’s doing great and awesomely in him business. Take advice, don’t say that it is not applicable, if you were in my shoe you can never do such and of course I may not do such or be in your shoe, it’s just my opinion and opinion is not the fact but sometimes it’s just the best for you at that moment and responsible to change your life for the best and forever.

Dear friend, do what pleases you and never forget your creator because one day you will give account on how you use your dear life!

Hope it's worth your time?

Have a super duper week!